Tonight was my first night game of the season. I love and hate night games. I appreciate them because I still feel that they are a novelty at Wrigley…I mean, we went so long without the lights. If you have lived in Chicago your whole life, you can’t help but feel in awe.

But, everything about a night game can be painful. The El ride commute is the worst…you are trying to get home from work, to get to the game, and you are packed on train with tourists from places like Schaumburg. They are always taking up tons of space….stretching out on the train…not moving back, and they are very VERY stressed about not knowing WHERE to get off. This is ridiculous since everyone on the train is decked out in Cubs gear, and you can see the stadium from the train. Do they really think that the train just going to pass the park? Is everybody in the Cubs gear coincidently dressing alike?

I don’t hate tourists. On the contrary. I often help them out, answer questions, and generally, try to be a good “sports citizen.” I am sure that I will be out of my element on a sports road trip so I empathize and create good Karma for myself.

It is just the shear quantity of tourists. It is unbelievable and you have to be ruthless to get to the game on time. On the commute home, before a night game, there are naive Chicagoans who actually pass up trains- thinking that an emptier one is going to come. Well, its not. You need to push, fight, claw and stay low or you are never going home. If you see a train….hop on, because the next one won’t look any better.

Now, I feel bad that I picked on Schaumburg. (Please don’t start writing in). I am sure it is very nice place. But, they have historically been the people who are most likely to pee on my lawn. I know your wondering: how do you know where these crude people live? Well, if I see someone peeing on our lawn, I yell out the window: “Go back to Schaumburg…!!!” This enrages them so I know that I must be right. I can’t tell you how many times that I have envisioned a protest where I gather up a bunch of neighborhood folks, caravan to the burbs, and return the favor on their lawns.

Now, the influx of fans maybe a bit overwhelming (while writing this blog, drunkards are still screaming on Waveland at 11pm). But, it is worth the costs…a relaxing, clear night at Wrigley is like nothing else. If you get tired, you can even leave in the 8th and watch the rest in bed. Not a bad gig. I really can’t complain…well, I do. But, I found a way take advantage of the crowds and help out. Before today’s game, we traded our “Lawn Scalper,” for something more respectable; one of my students hustled for charity…selling snacks to fans and making quite a bit of money in the process. One time, last season, a fan dropped a $20 for one candy apple. For all the hassles tourists may bring, the hustles are our rewards…you can’t say they are not generous…especially after a few of those Old Styles.