Rally Pants
4 September 2008
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Desperate times call for desperate measures. If your team is behind in the game, donning a rally cap is the best way to bring some luck to the field. Sacrificing a small part of your dignity in exchange for the possibility of a win is always reasonable.
Being a Cubs fan, I have a lot of experience with a rally cap. And, as you may know, in the past few home games, I have had a lot of practice invoking the rally cap but to no avail. Let’s just say that the Cubs have a five game losing streak. As you may have seen, I have tried the rally cap as well as prayed.
But, what I did not realize was that others were getting even more worried and far more desperate than me. At last night’s Cubs game, I turned around and saw (to my horror) a man sitting rows above me with a huge tear down the center of his jeans. In addition, he was wearing boxers that were hanging haphazardly and dangerously over all the ‘goods.’ I instantly whispered to Andrew who confronted him: “Yeah Buddy!…those are some pants ya got there.”
The man yelled back: “They’re my rally pants.”
Has five consecutive losses pushed us to these desperate measures? Have we resorted to rally pants, rally girdles and rally jock straps? And, how far are we bound to go? Rally smelly, we-don’t-change-our-underwear?
Let’s just hope that we can get out of this losing streak on our own terms…without resorting to depths we might regret.
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