The Worst Event Ever: by Ultimate Sports Wife, Nicole

Recently I wrote an article on the Tour de France. I swallowed my pride and controversially asserted that the Tour was perhaps, the greatest sporting event of all time. Well, that assertion seemed to shake the universe since only three weeks later, I am sorry to say that I have experienced the WORST sporting event ever: The World League of Water polo.

Now, I am not one to put-down a sporting event. Remember, I have been through BassMaster fishing, Minor League Baseball, World Ice Dancing, US Surfing, Korean Baseball and many more.

Much more impressive in their peculiarity, obscurity and pathetic-ness are the pointless sports and events that Andrew, the Ultimate Fan has attended: World Badminton, Professional Table Tennis, Indoor Track Cycling, Minor league golf, Euro-League Basketball, NFL Europe, Professional Indoor Soccer and the list goes on and on.

Now, I have attended many of these games and so, I do not mean to overtly diss them. In fact, many of them were quite fun and unexpectedly entertaining. So, please do not interpret my critique of the worst sporting event as being a sports snob or something. I am well informed to complain and I have plenty lesser-sports to compare it to.

The worst event started with good intentions: The hope was to take-in an international event in our area. We drove to Los Alamitos, CA. Our mapquest directions lead us to a military base. That canít be right. So, we asked the friendly check-point man in the Army fatigues, and he told us that the event was in the army base. Strange. This should have deterred us, but we had already gone this far. We pulled into the base, and there was a small parking lot full of cars. We got out of the car and the heat was oppressive. The official match temperature was 104 degrees, and we could see that there was a grand stand with no shade. Then, to add insult to injury, the tickets were $12 at an event where most of the "fans" were related to or friends of the competitors! This had all the makings of a high school JV-Varsity scrimmage. Quite telling, the soldiers on the base, werenít even interested in attending a match on their own turf. They were more interested in marching in full fatigues, and backpacks in the grueling heat. Woo Haaaa!!! At one point, I actually stood in the shade of a mailbox to watch the soldiers march by and sing.

Andrew and I spent the time sitting on the table of a picnic bench since it had a big umbrella to take cover from the excruciating sun. Most concerning was the fact that athletes or VIPs of the US team seemed to be working the event: selling tickets, selling souvenirs and even making quesadillas on a Foreman grill they may have brought from home- not the high profile, international event that we anticipated. We toughed it out through two matches: Australia vs. Canada, and China vs. France. But, the combination of the heat, the empty stands, the pathetic presentation (as a two-bit, high school match) and the high ticket prices led me to think of other things I could have spent my money on in lieu of the WORST event ever. So, I made a list:

    Better Things or Events that You Could Partake for 12 Bucks:
  • Buy a good but cheap bottle of wine.
  • Go to 2 Dodgers games (cheap seats).
  • Go to a movie.
  • Sit behind the dug-out at minor league baseball plus one beer.
  • Buy a case of Busch beer.
  • Go to Cold Stone Creamery and get ice cream with excessive amounts of mix-in candies.

You can add to the list if you wish, but you get the idea.

Sports wife smiling through the pain The crowd goes 'wild' behind the Ultimate Fan quesadillas made by world water polo league players