Talk Derby to Me…a Night with the Windy City Rollers
30 March 2009 6 Comments
So a few years back, a woman, who I shall call Helsa Wayton, invited a humble ice skater, Niki Van CleaverYourHead, to make the jump to roller derby skating. As you may have guessed, I am “Niki VanCleaverYourHead,” but I’ve never made it to a Bout. Sure, I can tear it up on the ice rink, but could I roll and elbow my way to roller girl fame? I wasn’t sure I could cut it.
As a consolation prize, I decided to make my way to the UIC Pavilion to finally check out the “Windy City Roller’s” – Chicago’s only roller derby league. I brought along Andrew and two other friends so I would have a mini-focus group to ask: could I cut it out there?
The night consisted of two “Bouts”: Double Crossers vs. The Fury and Manic Attackers vs. Hell’s Belles. I always envisioned myself skating as a “Jammer” – the quick, agile skater that weaves around and under the legs of all the big-ass-blockers… that is until I realized that a jammer could find herself elbowed in the teeth or tripped and thrown out of the rink…head first. I also saw a fine blocker, on defense for the Double Crossers named, Sassy Squash. She soared a whopping 7 feet tall and was wide…very wide.
A couple of friends have warned me that I am too cute to skate with the big gals on the Windy City Rollers. I was offended that they didn’t think I was tough enough to make it on a team. After seeing the women of the Windy City Rollers tear it up, I may have to agree with my friends. I value my teeth…my nose too. So, I’ve decided to put my dreams of derby fame aside and just be a fan.
I bought a tee shirt instead.
So, go to a bout or two, and figure it out for yourself; could you out-skate Ruth Enasia, Blossom Bruiso or Carnage Wilson? The only question you need to ask yourself is: how much do you value your teeth?