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Speak of the SCALPER!

28 March 2008 No Comment

I mentioned that our house has a preferred ticket scalper. Well, the Almighty God of Ticket Scalpers must have heard me because I just spotted our guy walking down Sheffield Ave towards the stadium. Same Cubs jacket, Same Hat, Same thick rimmed glass. This guy looks exactly like a 70 year old Bartman. Today’s sight is like Ground Hog emerging from his hole. Where does this guy go all year ’round?

Now, just cause he is “our” scalper doesn’t mean we chose him. He chose to set up shop on the sidewalk outside our house. Given the parade of unruly drunkards that invade the neighborhood on a regular basis, this is really not a big deal. In fact, it is quite convenient… How many people do you know who can walk out the door and get scalped tickets at bargain prices just over their fence?

The only downer about this arrangement is that this guy seems to hate everyone…he is rude, mean, and never says “hi.” This is so strange since he is an old man and you would expect him to be sweet with age. No luck. He will bite your head off if you say “go Cubs,” and I swear I have seem him kick puppies.

Well, I have hope in the new season. Driving to work, I felt a small sense of optimism in seeing him walking to the park. 3 days and counting and our Lawn Scalper is BACK…and that means, the season is coming. With every new Cubs Season, there is always the hope for renewal…the hope that THIS year is THE year…that may be luck will change and winds will shift …..
that our Lawn Scalper might say “hi” in the spirit of camaraderie. This is my hope for the year.

And, if Lawn Scalper refuses to play nice in the neighborhood, I may be forced to post his picture. Don’t test me.

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